The Four Beliefs

A major goal for educators is not only helping their students earn higher grades and learn more, but is figuring out ways to get them to want to learn more. Not too long ago, Camille Farrington, a former inner city high school teacher and current researcher at the University of Chicago Consortium on School Research, identified four beliefs that, if adopted by students, will help achieve that fundamental, yet important objective. They are: believing they belong in the academic community; believing their ability and competence will grow with effort; believing they can succeed; and believing school work is of value to them.


I cannot imagine anyone taking issue with the beliefs that Farrington has identified. At the same time, I do recognize that not everyone may be up for coming up with ways to instill these beliefs in students and then trying to implement those strategies. Particularly as this applies to children raised in "conditions of adversity," as described by author Paul Tough (The Atlantic, June, 2016), the challenge would be and no doubt is quite daunting. Nevertheless, the four beliefs speak to the importance of attitude. For students, embracing the notion that education is of value represents a major step toward earning the kind of education one needs to succeed in life.


Attitude also plays a vital role in communication. In fact, if one were to substitute the word "education" with "communication," Farrington's beliefs are perfectly applicable. All of us communicate on a very basic almost primal level. We nod, grunt, smile, spew out statements, etc. and, by definition, are communicating. But none of this is enough if we want to strive toward being an effective communication. That involves more than simply talking-at another. It involves listening, understanding, and devising ways to construct messages to which others will be most receptive. Helping students recognize and embrace the value of that represents another important challenge for educators in all disciplines.  

Skill Set

Here's the good news: everyone has a skill set. That is, everyone has a list - some long, some short - of things they can do. For instance, I know how to make toast. Also, I am able to type,  mow the lawn, read, and, on a good day, find my parked car at a shopping mall without too much trouble. Perhaps I am leaving out one or two other things, and, granted, it may not be the most impressive of lists, but nonetheless those things represent an itemizing of skills I have. Are they strong enough to make someone want to hire me? Are they even relevant to a prospective employer? To be honest, probably not. My challenge, then, is to put together a revised list of my skill-set that is accurate and makes me potentially employable.


Though such a task may seem easy, it is one that many job seekers struggle with. This is because such a list, though very personable, must be compiled with others in-mind. As I just demonstrated, any one can produce a list of their skills or things they can do. By the same token, any one can speak or share their thoughts or perspectives. But the real challenge is found in speaking in a way that others can understand and find to be relevant and of interest. Such a fundamental communication challenge is no different when it comes to producing a skill set list which speak to the needs and interests of others.


Communicating is all about connecting with others. Attempting to generate interest in one's employment potential falls under the umbrella of effective communication. Specifically, it calls for being able to view things from the perspective of others. This requires research. It also requires embracing the reality that effective communication is not only about striving to meet one person's needs. Job seeking is about more than the job seeker. Communicating well is about all involved in a communication exchange.

The Right Fit

Clothes shopping, at least for me, is not something that comes all that easily. Yes, I recognize the need to wear clothes just as I enjoy wearing things that I consider to be attractive and give me much-needed help to look halfway decent. At the same time, it is not something I look forward to doing all that much. Also, it is not always as easy as one might expect. One would think, for instance, that all brands of shirt marked "large" would fit the same. (That is the size I normally gravitate toward.) This is not the case. Not even close. Where a "large" in one brand might fit perfectly, I would need to wear the same shirt in a different brand in an "extra large." Go figure.


The result of this phenomenon, though ill logical, is not all that unusual. This is why it is good idea to try everything on before leaving the store with it. There is no guarantee everything is the right fit regardless of how it is labeled or looks. This is why it is a good idea to date someone a while before marrying them. Emotionally, it is a good idea to make sure you and they are compatible before agreeing to "go home" forever together. Given that the divorce rate in the United States is approximately 50 per cent, it would suggest we as a people are not as good at determining who or what is a good fit as we should be.         


Not surprisingly, one of the key criteria for determining whether another is a proper fit is found in the area of communication. Are we respectful? Do we listen well? Are we patient? Do we appreciate that not all efforts to communicate are perfect? If the answer to these and similar questions fall heavily into the "no column," then the chances are we and another may not be as a good of a fit as we need to be to be a lasting twosome. It is important to apply these questions to ourselves rather just the other person. Being the right fit requires effort on both parties. This is why I would probably fit into more "large" shirts if I did a better job of losing weight.  

Image Making

My first job out of college was working as a reporter for a small newspaper in Clarksville, Tennessee. The circus was coming to town. My editor suddenly had this brilliant idea for a fun feature story. The result was one of my very first story assignments: a first-person account as to what it is like being a circus clown. We talked with the folks at the circus and got their permission for me to get dressed up in costume and follow the "real" clowns around. I even got to participate in one of their sketches. I remember the experience as being fun. Also, I was struck at the way many of the young children reacted to me. They seemed almost awestruck at my presence.

The children never knew how nervous I was. Being dressed in costume, including white-face make-up, flowery outfit, whig, big shoes, hat and red nose, made me the center of attention for each child I encountered. To say the least, that was not something that ever happened when I was normally dressed in my everyday clothes. As a clown, I was being something I was not. I was communicating a certain image that was counter to what I normally projected. The circus, of course, was and is expert at creating illusion and imaginary fun. For that Saturday matinee performance, I was a figure that represented silliness and slapstick humor.

It is not uncommon for professional communicators to create particular images for their clients. Through such tools as words and staged events, they can make persons seem such things as morally strong, wise, caring, decisive, knowledgeable and approachable even if none of those things are actually true. My being a clown was harmless enough. But creating false impressions is serious business. It can lead people to making wrong choices that ultimately has dire consequences. Such power for that communicator is intoxicating. But it is a power that one should resist. Illusion should not replace reality, nor should deception ever be what drives one's work as a communicator.

Evolutionary Regression

There is a famous chart of the evolution of man that probably everyone above the age of elementary or middle school science has seen. It depicts how man has evolved from walking with his knuckles dragging along the ground to how we currently walk today: straight up. It is simple enough yet does a good job of illustrating our beginning days as living creatures to current times. Perhaps in the grand scheme of things, we are still at the start of our evolution. If that is true, then maybe we are destined to eventually travel on our own accord by flying. (Author's note: That last sentence may actually depict my own personal wish than anything close to reality.)

If a similar chart were made depicting how mankind has evolved in the area of communication, my sense is it would be much simpler than the one of us going from walking bent over to walking straight up. It would begin with us hearing sound, go to making sound, interacting via some sort of language, and conclude by showing how we are able communicate via both making and hearing sound (speaking and listening). I concede others may include another step or two in that evolution, but I believe my depiction, at the very least, touches on the basics. In essence, our physical ability to communicate has changed little.

One question, then, in the time we have existed, revolves around whether have actually gotten any better. I will say "yes," but confess that to wondering nowadays if actually we are not regressing. Specifically, despite our intellectual growth, it seems as if we are moving backward in the area of listening. I base that concern on the amount of conflict and repetition of message that occurs. Would all that be happening if we listened better than we seem to? Perhaps, but I doubt it. Further, perhaps having the abiliy to listen and the willingness to listen are two different things. Maybe it is our nature to live more comfortably making sound rather than hearing it, too? I hope not.

Life and Death

How many times have we heard the phrase, "life and death?" Usually, I am guessing, it is in the context of a movie. Against all odds, the hero is about to face the bad guy in one final showdown and is either told or says him or herself that this is a "life or death" situation. But in the real world, many of us face such a situation more often than we realize. Often it is in the context of some sort of medical or health challenge when we are interacting with doctors. Either we are dealing with medical problems or a loved one is and the doctors - these medical authorities - are explaining what is going on and what needs to be done about it.

Such an interaction revolves around communication. How well are the doctors communicating? Are they explaining the situation in a way we can understand? Are we listening well enough to understand what is being said? No doubt being told we have a serious medical problem is a very difficult scenario. Learning that the life of one we love may be in jeopardy is not easy to face. Such a time is extremely stressful and often involves terminology and explanations that are technical and not part of our daily lexicon. Doctors know what they are talking about but often we are not on the same page with them. Consequently, the chances of effective communication occurring is not high.

How well exchanges between doctor and patient go often can be a life and death situation. Are we truly understanding what the medical authorities are saying? Is how often and exactly what medication we need to take or treatment procedures we need to follow being clearing explained? Getting such guidance wrong really can result in serious health loss or even death. Thus, in this context communication is a true life and death situation. Unfortunately, such situations are ones people face every day. This is why health communication remains an important area of study for physicians as well as the rest of us.

My Hero

He gained fame for his ability to fight. Yet he became a legend as a symbol of peace. His primary world was one of few words where combatants slugged out their differences. Yet people from all corners of the globe flocked to him for his ability to talk and inspire. He stood tall for his religious convictions. Yet he lived a life of moral imperfection. Despite all the contradictions and even inconsistencies, he was beloved. "The People's Champ" was what many called him. To others, it was simply "Champ."  Either way, to me the label "hero" worked best. Muhammad Ali was my hero. Yesterday, as I write this, he died at age 74.

One would be hard-pressed to find anyone anywhere who was not familiar with Ali. For over a half century he was part of the world stage as a result of his great skills as a boxer, courage, and unshakeable conviction. His victories were many, some even spectacular. This includes his victory over the United States which tried to imprison him for refusing to accept induction into the armed services. After three years, ultimately it was the U.S. Supreme Court that raised his hand invictory. Never did he stand taller. Yet his setbacks were just as impressive for the grace in which he accepted them.

I met my hero once at a luncheon at my college in the early 1970s. I even got to shake his hand. Later that decade I was present at two of his fights both of which he won by decision. All told, he fought 61 fights and won 56 of them. I watched them all. For me, perhaps the most memorable was a rare loss when his jaw was broken in the early rounds, yet he fought for ten more rounds before losing on a split decision.  Then and throughout his life he communicated heart, courage and love. To me, this fighter was a man of peace. As many have said since his passing, Ali really did shake up the world. We are the better for it.

Dealing With Fragility

Here is one conclusion about people that I have to come to after over 65 years of living: we are very delicate. It does not take all that much to knock us off balance or upset our "apple cart." Such reaction is understandable if something such as being with a healthy loved one who suddenly has a stroke or learning that your only child is about to have their first child. These kind of turns are big deals and, by definition, worthy of very emotional responses to the point of potentially being life-changing. But I am not talking about that kind circumstance. Instead, I am referring to things more commonplace, even to the point of falling under the radar screen of notable occurrences.

A friend does not return an email right away. A bad joke not meant to hurt but does. Traffic jams. This list of day-to-day events is limitless. Even as we attempt to go through our days with a sense of expectation that all will go as planned, we remain ever-so vulnerable to the twist. They happen and as a result we are in a foul mood, we are out of sync with the day, or we want to abandon the day entirely. It would be funny if it were not true. It would be endearing if it did not sometimes lead to ugly reactions. Our fragility is a commonality we all share, yet one we choose not to be open about or acknowledge.

Ok. So all of us are a few clicks away from being a mess. Assuming that is true, then the good news is it does not make us bad. But the reality is it does help make us who we are. Therefore, perhaps we would be better off if we did a better job of acknowledging that about ourselves and, just as important, each other. When a person around us explodes because they just learned their laundry is not going to be ready at the time it was promised, then perhaps we should be as judgemental as we sometimes are. Ironically, communicating to ourselves and each other that we are not as strong as we often pretend will go a long to making us stronger.