Monday, May 30, 2016

"Uh-o" to "Ah-ha"

In many ways, our lives can be divided into two main phases. The first is when we do something that represents a kind of learning experience. The second is when we actually do learn from that experience. For instance: placing our hand on a hot oven would be an "uh-o" moment. Realizing the consequences of such an action represents the "ah-ha" moment. Perhaps the best kind of "ah-ha" moment is when we resolve ourselves never to make that mistake again. The two phases suggest all of us are constantly in learning phases. On the one hand, I believe that is true. On the other, that is not a guarantee as often many of us do not learn from our past actions. I, for one, still find myself repeating similar mistakes from time to time.

The challenge for us is to increase the amount of time we actually do learn from past actions and then stop repeating previous missteps. In my case, I could always do a better job of listening to what others say rather than putting more emphasis on what points I want to make. I realize the downside of not listening as well as I should but have not always done a good job of changing my behavior so I actually do focus on what is being shared. (In fairness to me, however, I do believe I am getting better at this.)

Professional communicators can play a role in increasing the number of effective "ah-ha" moments in our lives. They can do this by helping educate folks more on the consequence of certain behavior. In the current political campaigning going on, as we all know far too well, there is much what I refer to as "talking  at"going on and not nearly all that much "talking with." This unfortunate reality is indicative of the great divisions already existing in our country, as defined in numerous national polls by the Pew Research Foundation. Rather than focusing mainly on the different perspectives, professional communicators in our many communication industries could and should be drawing attention to the negative consequences of such division.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Duckpin Bowling

Here's something I bet not a lot of folks these days can say with a straight face: I miss duckpin bowling. It is true. Growing up over three score years ago, one of my favorite activities was bowling with what we called the little balls and pins. In fact, it was very much a family activity as my parents, cousins and aunt and uncle used to belong to bowling leagues. One of my childhood birthday parties was, in fact, a bowling party. This was before tenpin bowling - the big balls and pins - came along. Even its arrival did not dampen my enthusiasm for the duckpins. I found it to be more challenging and simply more fun. To me, this sport, which had been invented in the late nineteenth century, was great.

Nowadays, of course, one would be hard pressed to find even a bowling alley where the little balls and pins are used. According to the New York Times, there are only a little over 30 certified lanes in the entire United States right now. (Back in the 1960s, there were as many as 450.) I find this reality to be sad, yet recognize that life goes on and as things, including us, evolve, not everything I may like  remains exactly as it used to. Such is the case with communication. While all of us still communicate, of course, we no longer do so in the manner we used to.

To give one obvious example, nowadays many of us text each other rather talk on the phone. This form of interacting even seems to take the place of I person conversing. I guess this is because people find it easier. With texting, one is more in-control of the interaction. You do not have to worry about being interrupted and you can even decide what you to say or ignore in response to text messages from others. Perhaps this is what makes, for many, a more perfect form of communicating. Not me. I prefer the messiness that comes with in-person interaction. It reflects more of who we are. Maybe that is one reason I miss duckpin bowling. It was and is the one sport in its entire history where no one ever has ever had a perfect score.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Over-all Strategic Operation

At the conclusion of World War I, one topic of conversation among the British military was a style of planning known as over-all strategic planning (OSO). Winston Churchill, who had not yet been elected Prime Minister, wrote it had been introduced by the United States and, initially, was mocked and not taken seriously. In time, he noted, OSO came to be viewed with respect. This so-called style was applauded for its comprehensive nature, a kind of grand planning requiring a willingness to follow despite any minor setbacks that may occur in its being carried out. It proved to be a key element in the defeat of Germany, Churchill reported.

Comprehensive strategic public relations is not unlike OSO. In such an effort, numerous small steps or tactics are devised and carried out. Each is designed to feed into an all-encompassing strategy. It is important in such a plan that multiple tactics be employed on the chance some do not succeed or meet expectations. Further, those carrying out the tactics must remain loyal to their assignments. While such guidelines seem straightforward, they are not always easily followed given the reality of the inclination of people to improvise, follow their own instincts, and act on their own. For OSO to succeed, discipline and a willingness to trust what has been handed by those on top of the organization is required.

Identifying targeted audiences, establishing accurate budgets, setting complete timelines, and utilizing the skills of trained communicators are among the steps needed in the communication version of OSO. It is interesting that strategic communication has come to mirror military strategizing. And as is the case of OSO, public relations these days represents a rejection of seat-of-the-pants communicating. As is the case of a military operation, effective comunication leaves little room for error.



Friday, May 20, 2016

Unseeded

Ah, facts, we hardly knew he. I understand you are not dead. Perhaps, it would be better if you were. After all, sitting in the number one position as the top argument solver for so long, to now find yourself no longer in the top seat has got to hurt. Wearing the crown for all those years had to feel good. Who could blame you for feeling as if that crown was a permanent part of you? Not me, that's for sure. But now here you are: off your perch. Crownless. This can't be easy to accept. It has to be difficult to find yourself without that sense of indisputability that we all came to know and embrace without question.

You are now standing somewhere off to the side looking at your replacement: opinion. Time was opinion, at best, was met with the roll of an eye. It was looked upon as the misbehaving child that everyone had but knew it would never achieve the aurora of being beyond challenge you carried with you. Yes, everyone still has an opinion. Yet somehow opinion has been given the mantel of being, dare I say it, "good enough." I sure wish I knew, facts, when it was when you lost your importance. Where was I? Where were any of us? When did you stop being all that vital and how did we let that happen?

I agree with you. I don't see this turn of events as being fair or even a good thing. Sure, I like opinions. Heck, I have plenty of them myself. They are so easy to express and never a burden to carry around. Maybe that's it, facts. Perhaps we decided facts are too hard to collect. Perhaps, facts, you have become too much trouble. Too much work. Even you have to admit opinions, especially when stated in a loud voice, can sound convincing. And when someone surrounds him or herself with others who share the same opinion, then step aside, facts. Your reign is over. But I confess to missing you. You did make communicating so much better.


Tuesday, May 17, 2016

The Power of the Pause

I like many others have been subject to speech makers. Whether in-person,watching television or other medium, I would not even try to guess how many I have seen/heard over the years. Of course, the great majority of them have been forgotten. In large part, this is due to my own limited memory but also because so many have been forgettable. This is true of the countless interactions I have had with others as well. Still, I do recall the various tones and styles used in the forums in which speakers strive to connect with their audiences. They shout. They whisper. They use props. They pace back and forth or stand still.

If done well, all of these devices can be and are effective attention-getters. At times, they can even be more noteworthy than the actual words that are being spoken. But one device that is used, though not all that often, is worth mention as it can be quite effective and, at the risk of overstating my point, a speaker's best tool. I am talking about "the pause." When a person speaks, those on the receiving end quickly fall into the cadence of how the speaker is speaking. At times, they can settle in with that cadence or rhythm so completely that the sound becomes a kind of white noise. As a result, the listener tends to stop paying attention as well as they might.

Pausing represents a break or disruption. Not unlike an alarm clock, it can snap the listener back to attention and, at least for a few moments, get them to refocus on what is being said. Pausing can also draw attention to specific points, give the speaker a chance to mentally regroup, or enable them to make effective eye contact with their audience. The trick with pausing, however, is in the timing. Speakers should time their pauses at key moments in their speeches such as when they are about to make an important point. It is an effective public speaking device and equallly effective communication tool.

Friday, May 13, 2016

It's All About the Tone

Most will agree communicating effectively is challenging enough. Trying to be understood represents an ongoing effort much like trying to keep one's hair in-place during a wind storm. You either remain vigilant or you just let it go and hope for the best. The challenge is amplified greatly when the people trying to connect do not even speak the same language. At that point, communicating effectively is akin to trying to keep their hair in-place in a wind storm without a comb. Chances of success of any kind are, shall we say, greatly reduced. Maybe not impossible but darn close.

This leads me to an encounter I had recently with a waitress in China. She was very nice and eager to help provide me with a positive culinary experience. I was hungry and wanted to fill my tummy. Not being the most adventurous person when it comes to eating, I settled on pizza and coke. In very broken English, she explained the pizza would not be ready for 30 minutes but that she would bring me my drink right away. My problem was I did not want the coke by itself because I would end up drinking it before the pizza arrived and then either have to eat the food without drink or order a second drink when the order finally arrived. I decided to ask her to bring out the drink with the pizza. This, however, proved to be quite a challenge.

I tried explaining this but without success. Several minutes of failing to communicate a simple request passed. I was becoming frustrated and she was becoming upset at my frustration. She did not know what I was trying to say but could tell easily I was becoming increasingly exasperated by the sharp tone in my voice.  I finally realized that I needed to lower the tension in my voice or our interaction was going to become a total flop. This experience served as a reminder of how it is not just word-choice that determines successful communication. It is also the sound of our voice.  That, too, can spell the difference between being effective or not. One more reason why communication remains an ongoing challenge.


Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Drunken Chickens

The other day I came across a posting on Facebook of a chicken drinking beer from a cup. The edited clip concluded with the chicken staggering around, falling down and then staggering some more. No doubt the person who gave the chicken this alcohol thought it would lead to amusing results. Harmless, too. After all, it's only a chicken. Right? Granted, the world did not spin off it's axis because of what this person did. And I have to assume the chicken returned to normal to contine doing what chickens do. But one question out of this is: What did the person return to doing? What other pranks did he or she have up their sleeve?

Pranks are tricky things. They include elements of deception and even cruelty that, if successful, result in someone being surprised, made to look less than their best, and/or amusement at their unwanted predicament. Can you tell I am not a fan of pranks? I equate them with purposeful dishonesty carried out for the benefit of only a few at best. Does this make me a fuddy-duddy?Perhaps. But if one views any or all acts as a form of communication, then it also places me on the side of honesty. Pranks, at best, are similar to harmless white lies. At their worst, they are premeditated acts of meanness.

All of us are subject to far too many acts of dishonesty these days as it is. Why fan the flame by concocting plans designed to deceive? Is it our nature? As a species, do we really not have enough to do? While I am the first to admit that in my life not all of my actions have always been on the up-and-up, it remains essential that for myself and the rest of us to evolve in all ways that are good, then honesty must serve as our North Star. That means: stop serving beer to chickens! It also means our actions are not just about us. They affect others, too. Acts of communication have a ripple affect that should not be ignored.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

A Visit to China

Lots of people have been to China. And now I am one of them.  And you know what? It feels great. The Great Wall. The Forbidden Palace. The Summer Palace. The Pearl Marketplace. The Capital city of Beijing. The Terra Cotta Warriors. All of them were and are fabulous sites to experience - "the stuff dreams are made of." I can only hope others get to travel to this part of the world, too, one day. And, while I am at it, I hope the citizens of China get to travel outside their country, too. We and they have much to share. Perhaps the biggest thing to share is how much we have in common. This was my primary takeaway from my six days in the most populated country on the planet.

Granted, I did not talk with scores of folks, but ones I did, including a former engineering student, a cab driver, school teacher, a sales clerk, and a tour guide, share the kind of day-to-day challenges I do, too: contending with the high cost of living, keeping strong family ties, staying up-to-date on the latest in entertainment and sports, traffic, and education, to name a few. Yes, they think about government, but so much as one might expect. Their attitude is there is government and then there is them. Never mind the form of government under which they live is communist. They still have to live their lives.

Th people with whom I talked think America is pretty great. They also recognize how their government relates to the U.S. government does not necessarily reflect their views. Their attitude was a reminder of how the folks in power are not always in sync with the many they are supposedly trying to serve. Sadly, that is true in the U.S., too. For me, it speaks to the need we all share of having more opportunities to communicate with folks from different backgrounds. The revelation is we are not nearly as different as we might think. That is a good thing. After all, commonalities help foster more meaningful interactions and, ultimately, tighter bonds.