Thursday, October 29, 2015

More on Conflict

I confess to being someone who does not like conflict. If I sense possible disagreement - unpleasantness - is just around the corner, then I am often likely to head off in a different direction even if that action might make things worse. In short, "facing the music," regardless of the circumstance, continues to be on my personal list of things I need to improve about myself. This is despite the reality that often conflict can and does force us to assess situations more closely, review our own decisions or choices, and potentially emerge with a wiser course of actions for ourselves and others.


Regarding conflict, those of us striving to be better communicators have an important role to play when situations arise involving awkwardness or disagreement between others or between ourselves and others. One such role is that of facilitator. One of the best ways to resolve differences is to ensure that those involved have a voice and opportunity to be heard. Effective communication involves helping create a dynamic where people feel safe to exchanges their views or perspectives without fear of being disrespected, personally attacked or ignored. That is not a small thing. Inserting openness and mutual respect into any kind of interaction is vital if those in conflict are going to reconcile their differences in a way that comes even close to serving a greater good.


Thus, effective communication is not just about someone figuring a way to best articulate their own feelings or opinions. It also pertains to their creating an environment of good-faith exchange. This, of course, will not eliminate disagreements or people getting upset with one another. But it will help reduce whatever level of tension that might otherwise exist and counter notions some may have that conflict is to be avoided at all cost. With effective communicating part of the mix, conflict can actually be part of anyone and anything's solution.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Three Cheers for Conflict

There are many things in our world that we should not do without. Medicine is one. Umbrellas are another. Running water. Gloves. Stand-up comedy. Music. Hardwood floors. Diapers. The list is virtually endless. But no matter how long I or any one else's list might be, one item that should be included is conflict. That's right. I know what you are thinking: conflict? Without question, at times it can be a royal bother and really get in the way of plans we might have, thoughts we put forth and our desire to get our way during conversations or when making plans. Nevertheless, not only should conflict be on the list, it should be near the top.


That same conflict that gets in our way or even scuttles a path we may have set for ourselves, actually does all of us far more good than not. Just the other day my wife and I were trying to reach a particular destination. We came to a fork in the road and I was convinced we needed to turn left. My wife, however, felt a right turn was the correct direction to go. As we were running late, I did not want to hear her objection. Consequently, we turned left only to find out within a short period that I was wrong. The lesson here is I should not have ignored the conflict as represented by my wife's opposing view.  In fact, I should have been open to it.


There is a tendency, I believe, many of us have at times to automatically disregard conflict - big or small - that appears before us. This is unfortunate because often it is an opposing force that can and does often cause us to look more closely at our own perspectives or plans. Being open to conflict, regardless of whether one is on the receiving end of it or its cause, is a communication challenge. It revolves around a willingness to communicate with others in an open and respectful manner. Conflict, by itself, is neither good nor bad. Rather, if addressed properly, it is an opportunity for folks to achieve consensus and, at times, reach the truth in a thoughtful and cooperative way.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Putting on a Show

Preparing for and eventually launching a comprehensive public relations campaign is a lot like putting on a show. This notion was reinforced recently in a mini-profile on stage director Bartlett Sher that appears in the November, 2015, edition of Vanity Fair. In it, author Andre Bishop describes the steps Sher follows from point of conceiving a show to after the curtain on that productions has dropped for the last time. Sher follows four steps: (1) preparation, research and study; (2) rehearsal where he sits with the actors to explore, discover, ask questions and gain a greater understanding of the play they are putting on; (3) performing the actual show, which includes staging and constant restaging and/or changes; and (4) assessing or evaluation the quality of the production, including tally-up ticket sales and assessing reviews and reactions of their audiences.


For many, a typical public relations campaign also involves four steps. As first articulated by communication scholars James Grunig and Todd Hunt in 1984, the steps are: (1) research, which includes identifying the problem and/or challenge and assessing the steps taken previously to address it; (2) planning, including devising a budget, timeline and targeted audience; (3) communication or launching the campaign; and (4) evaluation or measuring the actual success of the overall outreach effort.


Putting aside any degree of coincidence that both processes contain four steps, it is worth noting that for any of these overtures to succeed in connecting with an external audience to succeed, one must develop a strong sense of what has transpired before, including determining how successful previous efforts were, before they can identify steps to take in the present and eventually set them in motion. Without that sense of history, then one is largely operating in the dark with little more in their arsenal than hunches and gut feelings. Whether it is putting on a show or initiating a public relations campaign, there is too much at stake to operate with such meager weapons.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Our Inner Voice

How many times have we heard parents remind their children to use their "inside voice.?" Countless, I am sure. In fact, over the years, I, too, have been reminded of that as well. The reasoning goes that one should be more sensitive to those around them. Consequently, we should speak softly when inside so as to help create a more calm surrounding that we are sharing with folks we do not know. That represents one kind of "inside voice." The other is actually far more prominent in our lives. In fact, it never stops talking and does not care whether we are with others or by ourselves. This, of course, is our inner voice.


The purpose of this entry is to, in a small way, give this constant presence in our heads a well-deserved shout-out for all that it does for us. At the very least, it keeps us company no matter the circumstance. We could be alone in our car, sitting at our cubicle at work, conversing with others, or even trying to fall asleep at night and our inner voice is with us. It is bold, unafraid, unconcerned with the feelings of others or what might be "politically correct," honest, inappropriate, flip, straight-forward, funny, and insulting. It ignores the old rule: speak only when spoken to. In short, it speaks whenever the hell it wants.


Where would we be without it? For me, I would be lost. I need it, want it, and do not ever want to be without it. My guess is that is how many others would be as well. At the same time, I recognize my inner voice is not always wise or correct. Just because it pulls no punches does not make it perfect. At times, what it blurts out is downright dumb or offensive. Even though it often requires me to "clean up" or edit it's initial remarks, the fact it is unabashed is a big part of its charm. Plus, the inner voice can be reasoned with and be flexible enough to its initial outpouring. It plays a vital role in our ongoing efforts to communicate. Thank you "inner voice."

Thursday, October 15, 2015

The Value of Discomfort

One good thing about communication and working in the profession, both as a practitioner and instructor, is that it is a field in which many others take a great deal of interest. Perhaps because communicate is something we all do, communication as profession, act, and area of study continues to remain foremost on the minds of many. For instance, as our nation we are in the beginning stages of the presidential election season. The result is a great deal of interest in how effectively the array of candidates are connecting with potential voters. This will remain a source of fascination, particularly among political pundits, for months and months to come.


Another aspect of communication that has generated interest recently is the level of communication that occurs among college students. Specifically, in the September, 2015, edition of The Atlantic, a list of recently-identified communication-related disorders was examined. These included assuming one knows what others are thinking about them without any evidence ("mind reading");  believing what has or will happen will be unbearable ("catastrophizing"); and letting one's feelings guide their interpretation of reality ("emotional reasoning"). These and other "cognitive distortions" that were identified represent an aspect of communicating that currently exists.


Looking at them collectively, they represent serious barriers to honest communication. When one involved in an interaction has a distorted view of reality, without question this gets in the way of any positive exchange that might otherwise occur. Also, it speaks to a larger picture of the rise of so-called political correctness in which people avoid making any provocative or controversial statements to avoid possibly making others uncomfortable or offending any one. Particularly at institutions of higher learning, uncomfortable perspectives should be welcomed. With that comes uncomfortable or challenging exchanges. And with that, potentially, comes intellectual growth.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

The Potential of One

One of the all-time great players in the history of professional basketball was Bob Cousy, a guard for the Boston Celtics in the years when this team began dominating the sport much in the way the New York Yankees did in baseball for many years. The time Cousy came into prominence was when professional basketball - at least compared to how things are today - was very stilted. There were lots of bounce passes, traditional one-on-one coverage and no slam-dunks. While a number of the players were quite talented, their style of play lacked the flamboyance that so many of us take for granted today. The reason for this was simple: the players were not trained or coached to be flashy.




It was Cousy, in the span of several seconds one game, who changed the trajectory of the entire sport. Dribbling down the court, he passed the ball to a teammate behind his back. Other than players on the Harlem Globetrotters, who did that? The answer: no one. But Cousy kept doing it and fans reacted with great excitement. It was not long before other players began replicating Cousy's style of play. The result was what we see today in players at the professional level as well as among youngsters in simple pick-up games.


In professional communication, perhaps the equivalent of the behind-the-back pass can be associated with Edward Bernays. It was this icon in the world of public relations who initiated the concept of mass manipulation, swaying public opinion via staged events or activities designed to appeal to people's emotions. Whether it was generating support for World War I or encouraging women to smoke in public, Bernays' vision of  taping into people's sense of horror, pride, patriotism, etc. has gone on to become a cornerstone of public outreach efforts in today's world of advertising, marketing, and team building. Cousy and Bernays are reminders of how one person, regardless of their area of expertise, can have a significant impact on our society.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Sticking to What is True

Have you ever noticed how sometimes reality can be hard to recognize? Normally, you would think what is true would be easy to spot. You hear a political candidate speak, for instance. They sound so sincere, forceful, and, yes, even certain as if what they are saying is spot-on accurate. Then, some time later, perhaps even within hours, we learn that what they said was way off-base. Boy, talk about exasperation! You shake your head thinking how that candidate was so convincing. At the time, you had no doubt their message was as solid as smiles at a beauty pageant. For me, no matter how often people perpetuate falsehoods, it always comes as a surprise.


This type of  behavior makes recognizing reality a bit more of a challenge. In November, the folks at Mattel are going to add to that challenge  by introducing "Hello Barbie." This newest version of a children's doll that has been part of the American landscape for decades will have the ability to actually converse with little girls. That's right. Mattel's artificial intelligence team has created a doll that will do more than simply spew forth with some generic catch-phrases. This toy will be able to have a conversation with its owner. The goal, according to Mattel, will help its owner believe more strongly than ever that in "Hello Barbie" she has a good and true friend.


While Mattel and its workers are to be applauded for being so creative and ingenious, one can see the potential problems parents might have in convincing their children "Hello Barbie" is not a real person and, therefore, not something to become overly attached to. From a communication perspective, this new product raises the bar on how vigilant professional communicators need to be in helping the general public distinguish between what is real and what is not. Saying that, I recognize there are some communicators who actually contribute to the blurring of the line between truth and fiction. Those practitioners are to be shunned. There is no room for them when it comes to communicating.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

A Time for Communication

Make no mistake., communication really does matter. All of us are being reminded of this truism in the immediate aftermath of the multiple shootings that occurred last week at Umpqua Community College in Oregon. As has been the case far too often in our nation, a sick individual with access to guns murdered a number of innocent individuals before dying at his own hand. The deaths were as heart breaking and maddening as all the earlier multiple slayings that our nation and the specific victims have had to endure. Now, less than one week after this tragedy, our nation is reeling from such a harsh act of reality.


Does our nation have a clear path as to what do about this and other similar acts of violence? Given the varying degrees of comments being given by our nation's leaders, including the array of presidential candidates out on the campaign trail, it would seem not.  Some want legislative action by  Congress setting in-place more strict gun control laws. Others are simply saddened by what happened but are reluctant to initiate any changes in our current laws. And others are advocating that folks have easier access to guns as a way of being better to defend themselves against gunmen intent on doing harm. This array of different perspectives highlights a nation that is obviously struggling with how to address what seems to be a problem that is not going away.   


Given such a scenario, communication matters because how well all of us interact regarding the issue of gun violence will determine how well we ultimately address this problem. So far, the communicating that has occurred has not been all that effective - at least among those in a position to enact tangible steps to address the issue.  Those folks seem to be talking at each other without making any real effort to begin reaching a consensus that ultimately leads to action. The result, thus far, is no action. If that is going to change, then all of us, including those in-charge, are going to need to begin "talking with" rather than "talking at" each other.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Advice to Bosses

As a general rule, bosses or supervisors are not always the easiest persons to appreciate or give a shout-out to. These folks, after all, make the big bucks, often sit behind the big desks, have the best views from their offices, and have power over the lives of those reporting to them. Yes, I concede these organizational superiors have their share of challenges. I also acknowledge they often have a lengthy to-do list to tackle each day that goes beyond what those under them face. Still, I am usually not all that inclined to think of them with charity as President Washington urged his cabinet members do with each other.


Having said that, I offer up this entry as a "helping hand" to those supervisors who are striving to do well, yet are not able to connect with the members of their staff as much as they would like. Workers - those folks in the trenches - need to see the big boss. While they are not looking for their boss to be their BFF (best friend forever),they do want to know the boss is looking out for them. As has been demonstrated by various researchers over the years, people carry with them a sense of belonging. All of us gain a sense of security, safety and affirmation when this need is met. At the work place, the boss can provide this need like nobody else.


This is why I always feel a real let-down when I observe bosses who fail to appreciate or understand this need those under them have. Instead, the bosses get caught up on addressing the papers, notes, messages, etc. in their in-box and lost sight of the most important aspect of their job: their staffs. Even though bosses have power, their days do not belong to them any more than a parent's day belongs totally to them. The child has needs which include having some level of in-person contact with Mom and/or Dad. Staff members need that as well. Direct interaction communicates a powerful message that includes regard, concern and togetherness. What's better than all that?