Saturday, August 30, 2014

Fountain of Youth

In the news this day is the fact what is believed to be the world's oldest - and possibly largest - wombat just celebrated another birthday. Nicknamed Pat, this gopher-like creature just turned 29. How about that? Unfortunately, we do not know the wombat's secret for longevity. Pilates?  Yoga? One glass of red wine with every dinner? My guess is it is something much more basic: not dying. I say that not to minimize "Pat's" achievement, but, rather, to note that staying alive for as long as possible is a goal we all share. Of course, we want our time alive to be days and years spent being healthy, happy and possibly even productive.


According to a new book on longevity, "Celebrate 100, Centenarian Secrets to Success in Business and Life," there are currently between 55,000 and 80,000 men and women over the age of 100 in the United States. This figure is expected to increase to 600,000 by the year 2050. Further, authors Steven Franklin and Lynn Peters Adler note that a newborn in 2012 has a 29.9 percent chance of living to be 100 as compared to a newborn in 1912 whose chance of living that long was less than one percent. Step aside Pat the wombat. Again, I am not trying to make light of Pat's durability. It just seems we humans are starting to get a handle on sticking around a long time, too.


One interesting aspect of this trend is that not only are we living longer, but more and more the ever-increasing number of centenarians are living lives of energy and zest. What is their secret? In general terms, researchers are finding that it involves around engagement; specifically, being active with friends and family as well as activities that one finds to be fun and challenging. Such "secrets" speak to communication. Fundamentally, humans are social creatures that need contact and interaction with others. Even though we may have more aches and pains as we age or move more slowly than we used to does not mean we can or should not continue connecting with others as best we can.  

Thursday, August 28, 2014

The Steadiness of Ronald Johnson

Rarely is it easy to be a voice of calm when everyone around you is yelling. Some are yelling at each other. Others are yelling just for the sake of it. And there are those who are yelling at you just because they can and you seem to be one who is trying to provide some type of order in the middle of all the chaos. It makes maintaining a calm demeanor all the more difficult. Yet this is what Captain Ronald Johnson of the Missouri Highway Patrol is attempting to do. In the aftermath of the fatal shooting of teenager Michael Brown by a police officer in Ferguson, Missouri, this small town has and continues to see more than its share of racial tension and violence.


Johnson, 51, has been serving as the official spokesman for the highway patrol. He is the person to whom anxious Ferguson citizens and members of the state and national media have been turning with an avalanche of comments and questions. Johnson's challenge has been to respond to their questions, listen to their comments, and represent the police and those in authority to assure the general public that they are continuing to work on behalf of local citizens and working hard to settle the situation in a manner that is just.


According to a recent article in the New York Times, Johnson's performance in for what for him is a new role has been quite commendable. He has "redefined leadership in crisis: equal parts police official, preacher, mediator and neighbor, unafraid to convey his inner conflict unafraid to cry,." the paper reported. Johnson is demonstrating that even in the worst of situations a competent and caring spokesman can make a positive difference. People, particularly when emotions are running high, look to something or someone steady on which to hold as they strive to gain a better understanding of matters and ultimately determine how best to address them. Johnson has emerged as the needed steady voice that is rising above the outcries.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

You're Not Listening!

How many times have any of us been in a conversation when we have either said or thought the other person is not listening to us? I will be kind and answer that: "More than once." At least that is my response when I apply that question to me. On the one hand, I understand those in my company do not hang on every word I utter. (I bet there were even those - granted, no doubt only a few - who occasionally glanced down at their time piece when talking with Abraham Lincoln or Martin Luther King, two giants known for, among other things, their conversational skills.) But on the other hand, why not? Why don't people with whom I talk give me their full attention? (And the same goes for those other two guys.)


At the risk of oversimplifying the very complex aspect of communication we call listening, one answer to that question revolves around the word "needs." Specifically, one reason people tune me out from time to time is they judge what I am saying does not speak to whatever needs they might have at that given moment. For instance, a person might decide I am not being informative or entertaining enough - two reasons we seek to connect with others. Other reasons might be they do not appreciate the tone of my voice or are too busy wrapped up in their own thoughts that might pertain to matters of which I know nothing about.


When talking, none of us know for sure how we are being perceived by others unless they send out clear signals to us. A yawn tells us one thing, a smile another. To be engaging and keep those times when others tune us out to a minimum, a near-perfect strategy is to learn what the other's persons needs/interests are. This does not mean you then have to only talk about what they want to hear. Instead, it gives you a good clue as to how you can frame your topic of discussion so as to help ensure their attention. People are social creatures and, therefore, enjoy engaging with others. The challenge is to give them reasons to act on that.







Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Actions and Words!

"Actions speak louder that words." This is an old saying that certainly has been around longer than I can remember. Perhaps what has contributed to its durability is that it has a kind of black-and-white appeal the same way "You are either in or out" or "It is time to fish or cut bait" do. In all of those, there is little, if any, room for nuance, compromise or pursuing other options. Expressing them gives one a sense of strength, leadership, competence, power, and even conviction. Hearing them can give one a sense of assurance and security as if everything is going to be ok and that whatever problems are facing us will soon be fixed.


Unfortunately, reality often tells us that life is rarely that simple. Just because one sounds strong, strings together enough platitudes to evoke a sense of wisdom or says they care about others does not mean they are any of those things. To be effectively strong, wise and caring - to name a few virtues -,one needs to communicate those traits in both word and deed. Words place the action into a proper context. Actions by themselves do not automatically suggest those at the helm mean what they are doing. Actions and words are two forms of communication that, ideally, should complement each. Neither is nearly as effective or meaningful if carried out independent of the other.


Not only should the two be evoked as part of an overall package, they should never be contradictory. For instance, one should not say they belief in being fit unless they demonstrate that by exercising and following a healthy diet. Words and actions help determine just how credible a person is. If these do not match or are not coordinated, then how well a person can be trusted is put to the test, one that in all probability they will not pass in the eyes of the public. So, do not just talk tough, but be tough. Do not just talk kindness, but be kind. This is the best form of communication and one that the most amount of sustained support.   

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Addressing Ugliness

It is safe to say every country has its dark side. In the case of the United States, that aspect is on full display right now in Ferguson, Missouri. The recent shooting there of an unarmed black teenager by a police officer has set in motion an eruption of ugliness centering around the perception that blacks are mistreated by whites, particularly those in positions of authority. The mistreatment, the charges go, is fueled by racism against, in this case, young blacks where they are either presumed to be up to no good or constitute a threat to society that young whites do not. Consequently, as a general rule, persons of color are treated more harshly because of a bias against them. Sadly, what happened in Ferguson is not the first time a young, unarmed black man has been gunned down by a police officer in the United States.


Since the election of President Obama in 2008, the fragility of race relations has reemerged as an issue of concern in our country. This has been seen in a variety of ways: the implementation of voter suppression laws in a number of conservative-run states expected to make it more difficult for minorities to caste their votes, a rise of harsher penalties and sentences levied by the courts against minorities than white convicted of similar crimes, and even movements against Obama that he is an illegitimate president because he really was not born in America. The latter example may seem silly but the fact it has been the subject of much so-called debate by the media and even had to be addressed in the courts suggests that to some the prospect of there being a person of color presiding in The White House is a point of major concern.


Ugliness cannot and should not be sugar-coated or glossed over. It needs to be addressed head-on if our society is to rid itself of this blight that has been part of landscape for far too long. To begin, our leaders, including President Obama, need to initiate a series of dialogs throughout the country as a way of addressing the resentment, anger and misconceptions between elements of our society that currently exist. Such a step would be communication at its finest and hardest. The fact is ill feelings are never handled by being ignored. They must be confronted even if one initial result is more anger. At least in this case, the anger would be channeled down a more constructive path. What is happening in Ferguson can be used as a teachable moment if the right communication strategies are put into place by people of good faith.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

The Other Half

In 1890, journalist/photographer Jacob Riis observed that one half of the world does not know how the other half lives. He said this was in large measure to the fact the one half - the well-to-do - did not care all that much about the other half that did not have the wealth or resources that they enjoyed. Riis, who was viewed to be among the energetic, muckraking journalists of his day, then set out to do what he could to make sure that upper-crust became more familiar with those on the lower end of the economic totem pole.


While in one sense society may be divided into two parts, the fact is all of us are divided into a multitude of parts in terms of how we view things, how we live our lives, and how we are perceived by others. To make any meaningful headway with another person, then, it is essential that one be able to look at the world through that individual's eyes. Doing so does not mean you are agreeing with their perspective. Rather, doing so represents a step toward gaining a deeper understanding of that person so you can develop a viable strategy to communicate with them more effectively. One key result of such an effort might be you are able to identify things the two of you have in common.


This is where effective listening comes into play. This important act of communication involves putting aside any preconceptions one might have about another and giving them your full-attention with an open mind. This entails giving them careful and thoughtful attention. Such effective or mindful listening often represents a big step toward learning more about that "other half." In fact, it leads to discovering and even appreciating the fact that each person is actually the sum of many parts. Embracing such a universal truth helps bridge whatever gap that may exist between people whose differences are defined by such things as their bank accounts, skin color or political persuasions. And it all begins with effective listening.                 



Monday, August 11, 2014

Hearing & Listening

It goes without saying that communication is not without its challenges. Trying to connect with others on a sustained basis is never easy simply because there are so many external forces working against such an effort. And then there is the matter of how the person on the receiving end of an overture responds or if they are even paying attention when someone reaches out to them. This brings me to a key element in any communication effort: listening. Such a basic act - paying attention to another - is actually as complex as communication itself.


To begin, researchers have identified four categories of listening. These are: inactive listening (being present but not absorbing what is being said); selective listening (hearing what you want to hear); active listening (hearing and concentrating on what is being said); and reflective listening (involves the elements of active listening along with interpreting what is said and observing how it is said). All of us, it is safe to say, practice each of these forms depending upon the specific circumstance. The challenge for communicators is to meld an outreach effort with the kind of listening that ensures a message will be heard, understood, analyzed, and, ideally, acted upon. Without question, connecting those dots is a tall order.


For communicators, is it important they be able to properly distinguish between hearing and listening. Hearing refers to the physical act of perceiving a sound. Listening refers to the cognitive or intellectual act of understanding what one hears. Just because one hears a message does not mean they were actually listening. This is why communicators, such as public relations practitioners, need to do more than simply speak at a targeted audience. Their strategies must include building in a mechanism that encourages receivers of a message to provide feedback. The same holds for when two individuals communicate. Listening on the part of both, not merely hearing, is the key to a successful interaction.


Thursday, August 7, 2014

Improvisation

John Wesley Powell was a man of action. He fought for the union in the Civil War. During that conflict he lost his right arm in battle, yet still rose to the rank of major. After the war he joined the geology department at Illinois State Normal University and, as part of his academic research, led an expedition into the Rocky Mountains to study the terrain. Despite his handicap, Powell did not shy away from leading his expedition through, around and over the rough terrain that comprised this famous mountain range.


At one point, he was climbing up a wall of rock. Just short of the summit, Powell found he could go no farther as, with one arm, he could not reach the ledge above or step down to the ledge below without losing his balance completely. Hanging on, he felt his muscles begin to ache and tremble. Powell knew it would be only a matter of time before he would fall. So did the men with him. Suddenly, one of them - a person named Bailey - had an idea. He made his way to the ledge above Powell. Bailey then took off his pants and swung them down to Powell. Powell grabbed onto the pants and then slowly but ever so surely was pulled up the side of the rock wall by Bailey. They and the others made it to that higher ledge as well as to the mountain's summit.


I have no doubt when planning this trip, at no point did it come up in conversation that if anyone became stuck on the side of a mountain then another would simply remove his pants and, using them as a rope, rescue the one in distress. But when Powell got into trouble, Bailey improvised and saved his partner's life. Often, communication efforts are well-planned, too. Yet in their execution unexpected twists and turns occur that must be addressed. A new fact sheet must be prepared and distributed. Interviews with reporters must be arranged. A website must be rearranged. These or other acts of improvisation must be undertaken. Being this nimble requires confidence, expertise, and a recognition that not everything goes as planned.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Defacto Partnerships

It is a universal fear that we do not wish to make ourselves look less than we are. This is particularly true when it comes to communicating with others. As a teacher, I see this concern in every class. A question is raised and students who I know to be thoughtful and insightful  look down or away in the hope they will not be called upon. Perhaps they are not sure how best to articulate their thoughts. Or maybe they are afraid what they have to say might appear silly or immature. I completely understand their concern. Any time we share a thought we risk it being judged negatively by others. Such a reaction is not easy to endure for any of us. 


The reality, however, is that communication is most effective when people are active participants in the process. For there to be a meaningful exchange or ongoing dialog, people need to speak out and take the chance of being criticized. If this does not happen, then the only form of communication remaining is a one-way street where you have folks talking at rather than with each other. Such a flow, at best, is limited and ultimately does more to curtail communication than foster it. This is why it is important that all who do participate in any kind of  exchange do their best to encourage input. Sure, that input may be shall we say, less than stellar, but without it, there is little chance for meaningful communication to occur.


When one enters into an exchange with another, then they have a defacto partnership with that "audience" to do all they can to help make the interaction effective. This means letting the other person know their feedback, input and/or contribution is both welcomed and needed. What this means, then, is in such a scenario we are not only responsible for doing our part in creating a meaningful exchange, but also helping our "partner" fulfill their role as well. Is this easy to do? Not always. But it does help break down barriers and potentially as well as ultimately paves the way to greater understanding.