Over Communicating

Is it possible to over-communicate? Can one communicate too much? Those questions are inspired by a comment I heard the other day when one person accused another of "talking too much." That particular comment, which we have all certainly heard before, refers to when a person is felt to be disclosing too much information. Rather than simply answering a question with a brief, direct response, they include information deemed extraneous or not germane to what was actually asked or raised. At times, talking "too much" can result in negative consequences such as hurt feelings or breaking a previous confidence.  

But is "over communicating" the same as "talking too much?" I think not. Communicating is the act of establishing a mutual understanding with another and/or sharing information, feelings, perspectives, etc. with another. In this sense, is it possible for a person to "over-share" information as to how they feel about a particular experience, for example? Or what if two people are talking about the history of U.S. space exploration and one of them introduces an over-abundance of information on the topic? While such an act might be overwhelming, is it the same as when one goes even slightly off-topic? No.

While over-communicating might tend to be a tad off-putting, such an act is not negative in the sense it detracts from a mutual exchange. It actually adds to an interaction despite the fact one or more of the participating parties might tend to find the additional information more than they can or are willing to handle. On the other hand, "talking too much" tends to shift the interaction and remove it from its original purpose. While many of us may prefer our encounters with others to be short and to the point, if one begins to over communicating, then take comfort in knowing they actually adding to the exchange. On the other hand, be on guard if they start to "talk too much."

Being Boss

Being boss is not always what it is cracked up to be. Sure, there are perks that come with being in-charge. You get the big office and the big desk. Often times, you get the best parking place, too. On some level, people defer to you whenever you chime in with an opinion or observation as if everything you say is golden. And then there is the matter of getting the highest salary. Everybody likes that. No question about it, there are definitely good things that come with being placed in a position where you oversee others. Being supervisor, however, does have its set of challenges that are unique to this key role.

Being boss means you more than any one has to be an effective communicator. It is your vision, ideas, etc. that drive those that report to you. It is your set of priorities that directly and indirectly determine the course the day for your subordinates. This is no small thing because it means, as boss, you have to be good in both how you formulate your vision, priorities, etc. but in how you articulate them to those that follow you. Failure to properly communicate your goals for the organization can have a seriously negative impact on the company/organization for which each of you work. It, of course, it can also jeopardize everyone's future employment status, including yours.

Another downside to being boss is that it means you work in a fishbowl. Make no mistake, people was watching you constantly. What are you doing? Who are talking with? What meetings are you attending? Are you in a good mood? Even though you may close the door to your big office, as the one high up the office food chain than anyone else, you give up all claims to office privacy or anonymity.  This means even how and what you communicate non-verbally must be taken seriously. While everyone may report to you, it is you, as boss, that operates under the watchful eyes of others. This means you must take all acts of communication ever so seriously.  All the time.

Bull in a China Shop

One of the most self-explanatory expressions in the English language is the title of this entry. Someone uses "bull in a China shop" and we immediately envision a person out of control causing a great deal of havoc that includes breaking things. Taking that one step further, it also conjures up relief that we are not the ones saddled with the task of trying to reign in that bull. Any time a person is out of control, you can bet those around him or her have their hands full. Thus. these days I am feeling very sympathetic toward the persons working for the office of the mayor in the city of Toronto. Their boss, Mayor Rob Ford, is acting like a bull big-time.

Mayor Ford has confessed to using illegal drugs. Further, his behavior with reporters and in city council meetings - all documented in painfully graphic detail - has been nothing less than bizarre. Hearing of anyone self destruct is sad enough, but to see it played out nearly every night on the national news is nothing less than painful. In terms of communication, when one has a boss who is as out of control as  Mayor Ford, what do they do? What can they do? What are the challenges that office's communication officer faces in striving to contend with the unusual antics of the city's top official?

My advice - if any one is interested - is that the communication needs to let the mayor go. Ford's behavior is so far beyond the pale that nothing can be done to "spin" it. At the same time, the communication office can and should focus on the business of the city council in terms of steps they are taking to contend with the Mayor as well as carry on with important city business. Doing this will help reassure city residents that Toronto will continue to maintain its reputation as a solid and major city. Further, the communication needs to work closely with the media even though they may seem a real bother at such a difficult time. Clamping down on a culture of openness and press access wold only make the situation worse.

Two Paths

The year was 1920 when arguably Robert Frost's most famous poem, "The Road Not Taken," was published. It depicts the journey of a traveler who comes to two paths, one well-worn and the other hardly tread upon. The traveler decides to take the one "less traveled by." This decision, the reader is told, has "made all the difference" though, interestingly, we are not told whether the decision to go where few had gone before turned out to be good or bad. That conclusion is left to us by Frost. For myself, I choose to believe the traveler's choice was led to positive results.

Finding ourselves near the middle of the middle of the second decade of the 21st century, I find mankind standing in front of a similar juncture when it comes to communication. One path before us is well-traveled. It is lined with press releases, talking points, strategies of persuasion and media kits. The other is characterized by attempted partnerships, social media, and outreach initiatives. The more traveled path has been deemed to be more in-sync with mankind's goals, wishes and ambitions. The other, thus far, has been used only periodically when judged to be of use. Neither is good nor bad. Both have contributed to the current state of communication between individuals and publics; one more so than the other.

The question then becomes: is this current state acceptable? Does it best fit the needs of our society and world? My growing sense is it does not. Communicators, including public relations practitioners, need to begin looking at that path less traveled like never before. It is earmarked with attempts at mutual adjustment, collaboration and sustained partnerships. In a world ever-shrinking due to technological advances, threatened by environmental changes, and stymied by rising conflicts over control and agenda-setting, perhaps it is the path best-suited for our present and future. Possibly the one "less traveled by" needs to become the path of choice.

Timing

Is there a definitive answer to what all of us refer to as "good timing?" I think not. I have known incidents when the timing of something has been awful, yet everything worked out. A simple example would be a graduate class I once took because it was a requirement. The timing of it was not good as I had other plans that were making my schedule busier than I really wanted it to be. Still, I took the class. It all worked out all right, though not without a lot of effort, as I passed it, earned three credit hours more toward graduating, and still was able to take care of the other things to which I had already obligated myself. Bad timing. Positive results.

As I write this, it is mid-November. Already I have been hearing Christmas music being played in various stores as well as seen a number of holiday decorations at various establishments as well as outside a few homes in the neighborhood. Is this good timing? Will these various overtures increase sales and put more cheer into the hearts of people? Or will people continue going about their normal routines without any noticeable change in their buying habits or moods? If that is the case, then perhaps the timing of this current holiday celebrating might not be all that effective. Again, who's to say?

One of the key ingredients into effective communication is timing. A communicator can create a catchy message and unveil it in a powerful way, but if the intended audience or public is not either ready for it or is focusing on something else, then the potential impact of that message is compromised. There is no specific formula for when communication overtures should be timed. Decisions as to when to either launch something or reach out to another is the result of trial and error and instinctual. One collects their data on timing based largely on  missteps and false starts. That may not seem as definitive as we might like, but it is better than making a wild guess.

The Printing Press Redux

As a card-carrying member of the human race, I can attest to the fact through the years of our existence we have done some pretty bonehead things. At the same time, there are those among us who through their intellect, determination and genius who have brought us great pride, too. In the November, 2013, issue of The Atlantic, 50 examples of such instances were identified. Specifically, the magazine brought together a panel of scientists, entrepreneurs, engineers and technology experts to produce a list of the what they call the "greatest breakthroughs" since the wheel. If nothing else, what these men and women produced demonstrated that despite our limitations and imperfections, at times we humans are capable of being pretty wonderful,   

The list consisted of a wide range of game-changing innovations that ranged from the assembly line, air conditioning and nuclear fission to refrigeration, anesthesia and electricity. Who could or would dare argue against any of those? Of the 50 top innovations, it is interesting that six pertain directly to communication. They are: the telephone, radio, television, the Internet, the telegraph and the printing press. The printing press, introduced in the 1430s and which one of the panelists described as the turning point at which "knowledge began freely replicating and quickly assumed a life of its own," was named the number one innovation.

As I wrote several months ago in an earlier blog entry, the printing press was the great leveler. Prior to its invention, information is not something many people had access to. In fact, in addition to degree of wealth and power, access to information was one thing that largely separated the haves from the have-nots. Whether the information pertained to matters of religion, the arts or political science, not only did a relatively select few have entre to information on these and other fields, but they used their access to wield power and influence over the general population. The printing press shattered that barrier quickly and forever. Information, the printing press seem to shout, belongs to everyone.

A Complete Package

Most every semester I ask students to tell me who they believe to be the best communicator. Thus far at least, their responses have mainly been either famous people such as politicians and celebrities. Every so often a student will mention a parent or close relative. All answers, by the way, are fine.  We all have special people in our lives who strike a chord within us no matter whether it is someone who know or know of. Once the students give their answer, my follow-up question is, from their perspective, what makes that person such a good communicator? Generally, they refer to the person's ability to give a good speech or speak well.

Make no mistake, those are no small talents to have. For myself, I would love to be more articulate than I am and to be able to give a speech that many find motivational and inspiring. But even if I could, would that be enough to make me a good communicator? Perhaps. But what about that other, vital part of the communication process that is just as important as the act of sending a message effectively? I speak of listening, the ability to receive a message in a manner that allows one to hear, understand, and empathize with the sender? Doing this and doing it well is no small talent either. I long for the day when, in answer to my questions, a student mentions someone and then alludes to that person's ability to listen as one of the reasons.

Being a good speaker or sender and equally good receiver or listener represents the complete package of communication. Only by having both skills and actively practicing them can or even should one be given the descriptor: "good communicator." As we assess those in our lives who we deem competent in that area, it is important that we not overlook both skills: sending and receiving. Presently, there seems to be a tendency in our culture to overlook the receiving or listening part of the communication equation. This is unfortunate. Society functions better when people talk with rather than at each other. It is time we begin to recognize the total package of communication.

Tourist

Traveling can be fun. Without a doubt, going to a new place, seeing new sights, and interracting with folks from other parts of the world is quite exhilerating. At the same time, traveling, for most, can also be challenging and, in many ways, stressful. Because of the newness of surroundings and a culture different from one many travelers are used to, one's ability to communicate is put to a test in a way few other scenarios do. For instance, assuming for a moment the language is the same, there remains the matter of adapting to how and even when people do things. Generally, what time is dinner? With it, is there a dress code?

When it comes to traveling, the need to communicate is heightened. Perhaps one reason for this is the fact in unfamiliar territory we are a tad more vulnerable. We know less than the folks around us. This is not unlike being the newest member of an office or organization. The lack of knowledge puts us on the defensive, making us more dependent on those around us. We are needy. Consequently, it is in our interest to be more collegial, friendly and cooperative. After all, if we are going to successfully fit in and perhaps gain a sense of independence in a new environment, then it is in our interest to be as  open as we can to what others say and how things are done.

One aspect of communication that being a tourist taps into is listening. When on familiar turf, either physically or in terms of subject-matter, we are more apt to participate in conversation, offer up our own opinions, and even initiate interactions with others. At such times, our sense of security tends to make us more of a sender of a message rather than a receiver. Being the "new kid" tends to reverse such behavior. Despite the stressm, this is a healthy communication challenge. Stepping into a new envirornment as a tourist, among other things, requires us to spread our communication wings. The benefit of such an experience is that we walk away with new memories and ehanced communication skills.