On My Day of Birth

While going through a number of things handed down to me by my parents recently, I came across the first page of The Baltimore Morning Sun dated August 13, 1950. (My date of birth.) I had to smile at the fact my parents went to the trouble of preserving this paper so that I might have a sense of what was going on in the world on this particular Sunday when I entered the world. I was born and raised in Baltimore, so it made sense my parents would turn to the biggest newspaper in their town. Of course, looking back, I say in all modesty and without equivocation that the most important thing that happened that day was my birth. But looking at the headlines on this day, it would seem those in the news business did not share my opinion.

One interesting piece of news that did make the front page was the fact town officials of Denton, Texas, voted to set aside August 15 as Old Maids Day. Apparently, as a result of heavy lobbying by Miss Dorothy Babb, a local educator, this decision was made to recognize unmarried ladies who have spent years of their lives buying wedding gifts for friends but had received nothing in return. Near the end of the story it was reported that one of Miss Babb's students, in recognition of her efforts and status as an "old maid," bought her a watermelon. I wonder if Denton still celebrates Old Maids Day?

Much of the front page news that day was dominated by the growing conflict in Korean. In fact, of the eleven stories on the Sun's front page, nine were related to the Korean conflict. In one item, General Douglas MacArthur called for President Truman and the U.S. government to censor all news coming out of Korea. In another, the American military's lack of readiness in this part of the world was highlighted. Joining the Denton, Texas, piece as the only non-Korean related story was one pertaining to efforts by Republican Congressional leaders to obtain passage of an economic controls bill.

Back then our country and the world had much on its plate to contemplate and grapple with. That, of course, is not any different than how it is today. But sprinkled in with those serious matters were items of whimsy to give people something to smile about as they read of dispute, conflict and violence. That, too, is how much of life is today as well. For communicators, it is important to provide the public with accurate information, even if it is grim and "not fun." At the same time, as is appropriate, it helps to make warmth and humor as much apart of the package as possible to help make the harder stuff more palatable.

Speaking Out for Facts

Are facts becoming an endangered species? I sure hope not. But at the same time I am concerned for their future. It used to be that cold, indisputable facts would win the day in any discussion or debate. Two plus two equals four. What goes up must come down. It is facts like these that should constitute the focal point of discussion. But nowadays people seem to be so caught up in getting out their side of an issue - what they would like to see versus what is - that facts no longer seem to be the rock or foundation around which all conversation revolve. Instead, facts seem to be as much available for manipulation and interpretation as are opinions. As a result, what people define as their own truth is replacing what society accepts as irrefutable facts. This is not a healthy trend for any of us.

I see the current political season as being a major reason for the current shaky status of facts. Perhaps the political season brings out the worst in people when it comes to public discourse. Perhaps the political season makes candidates and their supporters feel it is ok to exaggerate, twist and speak irrationally when it comes to making their positions known and driving home their points. Perhaps it is the political season that leads voters to focus on those candidates that make the most noise, produce the ads that are most slick, or spew the glibbest sound bites. Perhaps it is the political season that leads voters away from assessing the content of what candidates are saying, examining the sources of a candidate's information, and studying what it would mean if what some candidates are calling for is actually implemented. For instance, do we really want to abolish the concept of separation of church and state from the Constitution? Would doing away with the entire medicare and social security programs really be the best thing for us to do? Would eliminating the Environmental Protection Agency and Department of Education make life in the U.S. better and healthier? Yet these kind of opinions are being put forward by candidates without any explanation as to the ramifications of such dramatic actions.

But just because the current political season will soon subside does not mean my concerns about facts and the thread from which they seem to be hanging will also fade away. Sadly, my worries will not go away. Whether we are in a political season or not, I fret that facts are gradually being moved away from their front row seat to one that is more off to the side. They seem no longer to be the driver of our communication but rather just one of the passengers. In the world of law enforcement, facts drive investigations and not the other way around. Facts should drive communication as well. Sure people want to express their views. People want to be heard. But discourse on any level must go beyond simply speaking out for its own sake. It is up to communicators of all stripes to become advocates of facts. To ignore or twist them is, at the least, is disreputable spin control and, at the worst, dishonest. Either way, not giving facts their just due in any exchange or interaction between individuals or publics is simply poor communication.

Teaching As Two-Way Communication

Teaching is an interesting dynamic. It is also part of a partnership involving players with different roles that begin at opposite starting points yet share the same finish line. The job of the teacher is to impart knowledge about a particular subject. The teacher does it through a range of strategies that include lectures, guest speakers, assignments, tests and by instigating various ways for the students to become actively engaged in classroom discussion. The job of the student is to attempt to capture the knowledge and demonstrate their understanding and familiarity with it well enough to satisfy the teacher. On the surface, the roles of the two seem pretty well defined: one sends out information and the other receives it. If this were a classic public relations model, then such a dynamic would be strictly one-way communication.

Unfortunately, one-way communication is not as effective as two-way communication. This is particularly the case if the connection between teacher and student is viewed as being long-term. A teacher and their students are collaborators or partners much as are employer and employee, husband and wife, and doctor and patient. For each to enjoy any kind of shared success, they must establish themselves as a team that works toward a shared goal or end. Identifying the desired result as well as the strategies to obtain it can only be achieved via two-way communication in which the two offer good-faith suggestions designed to ensure well-earned passing grades for the students. Bottom line: the two must work together. They must cast aside the old dynamic where the teacher does all the talking and students do all the listening. Instead, what happens in the classroom must be more about active engagement on the part of both parties. Of course, the teacher knows more about the given subject than the students. But this does not mean students do not have something concrete to add to the subject matter, cannot help design a road map for the class, and even broaden the teacher's base of knowledge.

One reason teaching is such a challenge is because not all teachers possess the communication skills to truly connect with their students, establish a vibrant partnership with them or are able to impart information about the subject in ways that students adequately understand or find interesting. In my many years as a student and a part-time instructor at various colleges and universities, I have known and experienced a number of extremely knowledgeable and accomplished scholars who not do well at teaching because of their shortcomings as communicators. Perhaps viewing students as partners rather than as entities to talk at for several hours per week over the span of a semester might help reverse this. Granted, not all attempts to establish two-way communication are successful. But not trying at all greatly reduces the chances of making the classroom experience for both teacher and student one that is positive, meaningful and memorable.

Crossing Guards

I tip my hat to crossing guards. Recently, I had occasion to be stopped at an intersection. Kids on their way to school were walking from one corner to the next. Lined up at each intersection were a string of cars driven by drivers who were probably on their way to work. A not untypical weekday morning in America. And literally in the center of it was a crossing guard; a tall woman in her crossing guard uniform. Her tools consisted of a whistle, which she wore round her neck, and a trusty baton that she used as a pointer to let which car or group of school children know who could go next and, perhaps most importantly, in which direction. Also, she wore a broad smile that certainly reassured me and perhaps others that all was under control and all of us were going to get where we were going safely and on-time.

One thing I admired about this particular crossing guard - and I am sure this holds true for many others - was her communication skills. I marveled at how well she seemed to juggle her many clients at the same time in a friendly, yet purposeful manner. Drivers waved at her while passing through and a few children even stopped on their way from one corner to the next to whisper something to her or, in one case, give her a hug. Even though I have been in the communication business for nearly 40 years and have had more ups and downs than I care to remember, watching that crossing guard in action, I could not help but think that after all this time, I want to be as good of a communicator as that person.

Granted, my time at this intersection in the presence of this crossing guard lasted only a few minutes. I have to assume there are days when things do not always go so smoothly or that her clients - children and drivers - are not always as cooperative and easy going as they were at that time. But I also assume that when those moments or days do occur, she is able to handle them just as well simply because of the credibility she has achieved with her public. Communication is about long-term competence and consistency rather than a one-time shining or flashy moment. Any one can toss a dart and hit the center of the target. But to do that consistently or even come close with high regularity is the mark of a solid professional and effective communicator. That crossing guard was a reminder to me of how beneficial good communication is to any situation and what a pleasure it is to see someone who does it well in-action.

Self Expression

Not too long ago I heard one of the talking heads on television refer to the current generation as one of self expression. These men and women want to be heard; want to be able to articulate their views, feelings and attitudes about anything ranging from politics and entertainment to the latest in fashion and social issues. This is not a bad thing. It is important to speak out, especially in a government such as ours that ultimately draws its strength and viability from the ability and willingness of its citizens to speak out. This is why I applaud any one, including members of the so-called tea party or occupy movement, who are energized enough to go to rallies and town hall meetings to raise questions, challenge authority, and let it be known their concerns and hopes.

Self expression, however, is not always pretty, polite or even civil. Sometimes people are so hell-bent on expressing themselves that they come across as little more than single-minded bullies driven by anger and contempt for those with other perspectives. It is here where real problems occur. Passion fueled by little more than anger rarely begets positive results. Sadly, angry passion often feeds on itself and only seems to fuel more anger, feelings of self-righteousness, and disregard for the opinions of others. This kind of self expression runs counter to the principles of effective communication and, more importantly, to the core of democratic values. Further, this is why is it so important that it be tempered with a respect for others.

My sense is that one big reason a notable segment of our population seems so worked-up these days is because they do not feel they are being heard or listened to. Point taken. But to the many highly-charged passionate men and women that seem so visible these days, I urge you to keep your passion and ideals but not lose sight of the fact that the best movements are ones built on inclusion, the input of many, collaboration and consensus building, and partnerships. "My way or the highway" may sound good and strong, but in the long run it is no way to run a country or, on a smaller scale, live one's life. Speak out. Be heard. But don't forget to listen. It makes for better self expression.

Seeking Resolution

None of us need to be reminder that these are tough times in which we live. Far too many people are out of work. Jobs are hard to come by. Money is tight. To add to that, there seems to be far too much fear-mongering, misinformation and name calling that is filling the public air waves. People are understandably angry and without direction and many of those to whom they look for guidance, hope and solutions seem more interested in saving or bettering their own hides than the hides of the people who they were elected, appointed or hired to serve. No wonder so many citizens are nervous, frustrated and disillusioned. No wonder many people feel cynical, isolated and pessimistic. What's a communicator to do?

The overriding answer is for communicators to devote their energies and skills toward identifying common denominators that link the various points of view currently being expressed. Putting aside all the emotion, yelling and knee-jerk reactionary commentary, there are several powerful issues on which conservatives and liberals seek the same bottom-line goal. These include limited government, low unemployment, low national debt, and a strong national infrastructure. (No, I'm not kidding about any of these.) But the problem is our leaders seem to be putting their own agendas ahead of the nation's. People with good communication skills, such as conflict resolution experts, can help turn that around. Unfortunately, elections - at least lately - seem to bring out the worst in people - leaders and their supporters - rather than the best. By addressing these and other issues from a prospective of working toward the greater good, proponents of the right and the left really can work together. One model of public relations that was introduced over 25 years is relevant here. It is called "two-way symmetrical." It focuses on the establishment of partnership and identifying strategies by which to address common shared or problems.

The challenges our nation faces are not going to go away by themselves. The reality is it is going to take a coming together of many people with different perspectives and priorities, yet who share the common overriding goal of wanting to turn our dark days of the present into bright days of tomorrow. Reality dictates that if our nation's current set of challenges are to be properly addressed, then people are going to have to sit down at the same table and begin honest and respectful collaboration. If not, then the tough times facing us are going to have an awfully long shelf life.

When Communication is Needed Most

As is always the case on a Sunday in October, football was very much in the air and on the air waves. One particular game went into overtime as the two teams - Washington Redskins and Green By Packers - were tied at the end of regulation play. Much to the delight of the home crowd, the Redskins ended up winning in overtime. It was a real nail biter. Across town, a nail biter of another kind occurred. A young woman in her early 30s was being treated in a local hospital after suffering a mild stroke. Doctors diagnosed a blood clot over one part of her brain that probably triggered the stroke. She is also experiencing some bleeding over another part of her brain.

These kind of unexpected twists and turns happen all the time in life. Some bring cheer and some do not. Some are changes we hope for and some are ones we dread. But all create communication challenges that cry for timely and accurate information, effective ways to share that information, and sensitivity in how that information is shared. In many ways, unexpected occurrences - good and bad - best illustrate why communication is so vital to all of us. Similarly, they also present communicators with their most important challenge. When the unexpected happens, the one thing people seek and want the most is information. And they want it immediately, not later in the day or the day after. This is when the communicator must take charge.

Information is the primary lifeline that enables people to maintain their equilibrium. It helps them cope, establish perspective and provides them with guidance on how best to proceed following an unexpected turn of events. Without it people are without a compass. It is as if they are in a dark room with no help as to where a light switch might be or how to find their way out. The communicator, in essence, is that light switch. This person is able to provide publics with invaluable assistance in helping them turn the unexpected into a tangible road map. Take that Redskin-Packer football game. I never thought it would end in a tie. But communication helped me remain optimistic when it did. And the same holds true for my friend still in the hospital. Not only do I feel upbeat about her chances for a full recovery - as a result of the information provided me - but I also have a much better sense of what I can do to help her get better.

More Pet Peeves

The public dialog that all of us are being subjected to these days is really becoming a big pet peeve of mine. Specifically, I am referring to what I view as extreme language. Take entertainment reporting, for example. Have you noticed how many "icons" or "superstars" or "legends"there now are? (I like Betty White as much as any one, but she is not an entertainment icon any more I am.) But if you listen to the so-called entertainment talking heads these days, any more it is hard not to find a celebrity who does not fall under one of those three headings. As a result, those descriptive terms have been rendered meaningless. The same holds true for to the commentators who comment on the hard news and issues of the world. Can we all raise our hands and pledge to stop comparing things we do not like or approve of to Hitler's Nazi Germany? Is the health care plan the Obama administration successfully pushed through really as bad as that? Are the efforts by Michelle Obama to try and get kids in school to eat healthier food really akin to what life was like for those who lived under Stalin's Russia? Really? I think not.

When it comes to driving, one of the few things worse than people who do not signal they are about to turn are those who signal either while they are actually making that turn or are just a few seconds away from it. How about giving the drivers behind you an adequate heads-up? Besides being dangerous and even against the law, this is poor communication that could end up having terrible consequences. Unless you are involved in a high-speed chase where the last thing you want to do is give the people chasing you a clue as to where are you going, then there is no excuse for not being considerate of the publics with whom you are sharing the road.

Finally, I do not like it when politicians are asked a question to which they do not know the answer, yet they pretend to by spouting off irrelevant babel in an effort to disguise their ignorance. Not everyone knows something about everything. It is ok - at least to me - to say, "I don't know." This holds true even if it pertains to a question to which you should know the answer. Pretending to know something you don't is dishonest and misleading and, in the world of public relations, unethical. Sadly, examples of this kind of offense are endless. Suffice to say, if a person finds it difficult being honest about what they don't know, then can they really be trusted with being honest about they do know?.

Dealing With Disconnects

There's an old joke involving a foot soldier who is marching with his troop. He keeps tripping and is out of sync with the rest of the soldiers who are marching in proper unison. Finally, the drill instructor asks him what is going on. He answers, "Everyone here is out of step." Obviously, this points to the distinct possibility that it is actually this particular solider who is out of step and that everyone else is just fine. This leads me to a provocative quote from the late Russian dissident Alexander Solzhenitsyn that I came across recently: "If you desired to change the world, where would you start? With yourself or others?" I find this comment to be so intriguing because it strikes at the heart of how we as individuals view ourselves and those around us. When a disconnection occurs, do we assume it is the other person's fault or do we begin with ourselves, if not as the possible culprit, then as part of the reason for the breakdown?

In communication there are tons of reasons why mixed signals occur. Poor timing. Poorly worded messages. Apathy on the part of the public. Erroneous information. Whatever the problem or problems might be, a big step toward step toward addressing lies in one's willingness to take responsibility and ability to look at themselves with a critical and dispassionate eye. It is important for communicators to have the skills to do this. When miscommunication happens, it is
not uncommon for those involved to look to the communicator for an explanation and, ultimately, a solution. After all, when our car breaks down we naturally turn to the nearest auto mechanic for help as opposed to the local barber.

Granted, being able to properly assess any given situation is not always easy, particularly when there are multiple participants, an array of strategies under way, big budgets and various publics involved. But if one is going to make a living trying to help others communicate, trying to create public relations campaigns , trying to craft messages that resonate, and trying to build bridges between various groups of people, then a major part of the responsibility that comes with those challenges is embracing your role as the "go-to" person when something goes wrong or not as well as was expected. In terms of the best way to meet this responsibility, my advice is to begin by remembering Solzhenitsyn's comment. Much rides on your answer to his question.

Double-Edged Sword

Despite the relative newness of social media, it has become a cliche or, at the very least, a statement of the obvious to call social media a powerful communication tool. This vehicle enables any one savvy enough and with access to a computer to communicate with hundreds of thousand and even millions of other people with amazing speed and ease. For individuals, this new reality represents an exciting opportunity for any singular man or woman to make greater connections with others who may share similar interests and aspirations though they may not have ever met in-person. For news organizations, social media, including the Internet itself, is a perfect way to bring light into dark countries that censor or limit information that runs counter to what governments want their people to know.

However, most sadly, a tragedy of just a few days ago involving the suicide of an 18-year-old male student at Rutgers University is a reminder that the advanced communication technology now dominating the world's information flow is a double-edged sword. As was once again demonstrated, social media can also be used to do great and serious harm. This young man was outed as being gay by a fellow student who secretly videotaped him being intimate with another young man. Without the student's knowledge or permission, the person who did the taping blasted the video out over the Internet. Upon learning what had been done to him, the Rutgers student committed suicide. It is difficult to find anything in recent days more gut-wrenching than this tragedy. It is the most recent example in a number of incidents in which young people have killed themselves as a result of being humiliated, bullied and/or harassed via social media.

At this point, I remain uncertain as to what can or should be done by our government to prevent this type of tragedy and abuse. Free speech is essential to our free society. But with that comes the reality that there are those who will be abuse it due to their own irresponsibility, stupidity or meanness. My sense is we should not try to legislate that kind of bad behavior even though that is tempting. My concern is such legislation might compromise the kind of legitimate use of the Internet by news organizations, for example, or even responsible or well-meaning individuals. But at least for starters, it might not be a bad idea for parents, educators, civic groups and, yes, even the government band together to begin educating young and old people alike about the double-edge sword that is social media. From what we learned at Rutgers, it is apparently a matter of life and death.