People Behaving Badly

I am sure we have all been around people who are being totally contrary, unreasonable, hard-headed and unwilling to consider other perspectives. They have their minds made up about something no matter how unfair or even inaccurate the foundation on which their views and possible actions are based. They are simply blinded by their own ideology and lack any meaningful ability to be reasonable, look at things from a different angle, or willingness to meet others halfway. Being honest, there have been times when I have behaved this way. I can only imagine how "unfun" it was for others interacting with me at these times since I know first hand how frustrating it is to deal with others who are in this kind of one-dimensional mode. It makes any kind of meaningful communication nearly impossible.

I am reminded of this kind of mind-set by the recent controversy surrounding Shirley Sherrod, the federal government employee who was wrongly and unfairly forced to resign her position as a result of the release of a tape of a recent speech she gave in which she discussed her own personal journey toward realizing the importance of people from all ethnic background and races to work together. Unfortunately, the tape had been edited in such a way to depict her as a racist. Once the full tape was released, however, it was quickly learned that Sherrod was the victim of a person or perhaps people who are blinded by their own ideology and who are so certain of their righteousness of their perspectives that to their way of thinking the ends justifies the means when it comes to promoting their own cause or political agenda.

Ideally, communication is a team sport. For it to be most effective and to lead to the most meaningful results, it requires more than one person to participate in the process where open interaction occurs. Make no mistake, the Sherrod incident was the result of one way communication with very negative and malicious intent. No one involved in this entire mess, including those who released the edited tape, reported on it or eventually fired Sherrod initially gave any thought to making Sherrod herself part of the conversation. They were simply oblivious to being fair or communicating effectively. What was done and how it was handled illustrated the ugly consequences of this kind of poor communication.

Keep On Blogging

One of my all-time favorite cartoonists and cartoons was Gary Larson and The Far Side. It was a sad day in my life when he decided to retire as hardly a day passed when Larson and zany depictions did not start my day off with at least a smile and, in some cases, a laugh out-loud moment. One of his cartoons I remember shows hundreds of penguins standing together in a large group when suddenly one of them rises and shouts, "I gotta be me!" This particular cartoon came to mind recently when I read in a recent edition of Newsweek magazine that in America there are currently approximately 141 million active blogs in existence. (This compares with only 12,000 just ten years ago.) With our country's total population numbering slightly more than 309 million, that means over one-third of our residents are active bloggers. To put it mildly, this does not put me in what I would call "select company."

Perhaps another conclusion to draw is that through the communication channel we call the "blog," over one-third of our population is that like penguin in the cartoon. By sharing our thoughts, comments on the world, discussing issues or topics of interest to us, or reaching out to others we are seeking to distinguish ourselves even if slightly. Given the numbers, it is probably safe to assume that the great majority of the blogs go unread or unnoticed irregardless of how well written, provocative or stimulating they might be. That's too bad. At the same time, I see that reality as being no reason why one should stop blogging, particularly if it is something they enjoy doing. After all, blogging is a viable form of communication in these times when so many of the world is connected via the Internet.

In the same set of statistics by Newsweek, it was reported that there 4.5 billion text messages on any given day (as compared to 400.000 ten years ago). This statistic, coupled with the number of active bloggers, tells me there is a massive amount of reachng out going on in our country these days. People want to connect. People want to be heard. People want to try and make some type of difference with their voice and thoughts. I see that as being healthy and even hopeful. With that amount of communicating going on, then the amount of dialog that is resulting - even if it is between two people - has got to be equally impressive. With dialog eventually comes consensus. And with consensus eventually comes progress. So, to the 141 million active bloggers in our country, I say "keep on blogging!" Even in a small way, it is contributing to a greater good.

Salt for Everyone!

One of the factors that contributed to the fall of the Roman Empire was the ever-growing gap between the rich or the elite and the poor. Those in power and with wealth did everything they could to maintain their station in life. This included enacting policies and decrees that made it difficult for those without means to rise out of their lowly economic status. This gap between the haves and the have-nots ultimately weakened Rome's economy greatly. However, one act those in power did take that was much more equality based was to ensure that persons from all stations in life had equal access to salt. This still-new delicacy was recognized as something that everyone enjoyed to help add taste to their meals. Consequently, those in power maintained price controls on all salt so that rich and poor alike could easily afford this treat.

While I can't say I regret not having lived in the times of ancient Rome, I do applaud them for their salt policy. In fact, one thing that makes me grateful that I live in our current era and in the imperfect USA is our nation's policy toward communication. Much as it was with salt in ancient Rome, our government's views that communication is for everyone as it is is equally healthy and good for persons in all walks of life. As individuals and as members of segments of the population, we need outlets through which to express ourselves, raise our questions, and connect with others. Any one with a computer can blog, tweet, establish their own facebook page, etc. Others can give speeches, write letters to the editor and talk with persons individually.

To me, this current-day example of Rome's salt policy represents our nation's primary hope that we will continue to evolve, grow and face our many challenges. By ensuring our right to communicate with each other, our nation and the powers-that-be that shape its directions and priorities have, in essence, made a firm commitment toward preserving our future. So long as we as individuals can communicate, then even if the directions our nation takes sometimes zig-zag beyond our individual comfort level, then the hope we will eventually settle upon correct paths will always exist and always be a common goal to which we all strive and aspire. So, in terms of identifying something for everyone, the founders of our nation were much wiser than those who created the Roman Empire. I like salt in moderation, but I much prefer communication in abundance.

Perceptions

I am sure that sometime in our lives many of us have experienced bullies. Perhaps it was in elementary school at recess when some big kid would go around and physically abuse smaller kids. Or maybe it's at the work place where some people with authority or power treat those below them with disrespect and contempt. Their behavior is designed to give others the impression they are tough and on top of the world when, in fact, as recent studies have suggested, they are in all likelihood more insecure and filled with self-doubt than those they push around. It's all about trying to appear as you want to be seen rather than as you really are. And then there are politicians who participate in photo-ops as a way of visually demonstrating their support of a particular issue. One of my favorites in the past decade is the politician who poses with members of the armed services to show his support while at the same time he is sending these men and women into battle with insufficient equipment and protection. The photo op with the troops was designed to cover up a far less flattering reality about that elected official.

To some extent, each day we all do what we can to have others perceive us in a certain way even if it is not totally accurate. At work, for example, I try my best to project an attitude of good cheer even on those days when the sun is not shining as brightly for me as I might like. Many public relations professionals, of course, have a reputation for shaping perceptions. Take that photo op with the troops that I mentioned earlier. That's something with a P.R. practitioner's finger prints all over it. Does this make the professional communicator who did that dishonest? What about the politician? What about the elementary school bully? Am I being dishonest at work on days when I pretend to be in a better mood than I really am?

Before slapping the label of "dishonest" on any one, I think it depends upon the circumstance and the degree to which one is behaving. For instance, the politician who tries to be something he or she is not is being dishonest. The person at the office who is hurting on the inside yet smiling on the outside is not. I recognize, however, that a fine line exists between the two. Professional communicators who organize events or issue communiques of some sort need to be sensitive to this. It is easy to get caught up in the wishes of those who hire you to craft slick and professional messages to various publics without checking carefully to make sure everything you are saying and communicating is accurate and not misleading. True public relations works only when it is honest. Further, while perception is important. It should not be allowed to mask what is real

Feeling Good

We all realize - sometimes begrudgingly - that not all things in life go our way. We all experience setbacks and disappointments. And there may even be periods of time when we have to endure less than satisfactory situations in the hope that better times will come along. It is an aspect of life that everyone experiences. Consequently, this also represents a challenge that everyone faces from time to time: How best to get through it? How best to cope with unpleasant times and do so in a way that avoids sinking into attitudes of non-stop cynicism and despair? Good communication can help.

One of the main purposes of communication is to help build bridges between various publics. This includes identifying commonalities and potential areas of agreement. It also entails helping establish an environment in which members of these publics can be open, feel secure and appreciated, and have a sense of ownership in that what they say and do can and does make a positive difference. When people feel these attitudes, then the potential for their level of productivity and inner growth is greatly enhanced. Communicators can do this by helping ensure people are recognized for their efforts and establishing and maintaining ways in which they can interact and collaborate. The potential result is that it helps make people feel better about themselves and about what they do.

Those simple strategies and others are ways in which communicators can make a positive difference in the lives of those around them. On the surface, these communication steps might not seem magical, but the results they can and often do generate certainly are. What better way to improve one's own attitude, particularly if you have hit a rough patch in your life, then to do good for others? If this belief seems simplistic and silly, then so be it. But I believe the best way to feel good is to do good. In this case, it is through communication. Communication may not solve specific problems, but specific problems cannot be solved without it; nor may communication improve one's attitude, but by successfully communicating with others, one's frame of mind receives a welcomed boost as well.

Twin Wonders: Grand Canyon and Truth

There is no doubt that being in the presence of something bigger than one's self is both humbling and inspiring. Speaking for myself, it puts into perspective my own challenges, yet motivates me to aspire to great and good behavior and achievement. I speak of the Grand Canyon. A few days ago, with a cousin, I hiked up and down this miracle of nature. Even now I am finding it difficult to step down off the high feelings I continue to enjoy from experiencing so much of one of the seven natural wonders of the world. Standing inside the Grand Canyon, it is impossible to look around and not see the best that beauty has to offer. Seeing the Grand Canyon should be on everyone's to-do list.

Hiking up and down it, however, is a different matter. Part of this adventure included spending the night at the Phantom Ranch, which is situated at the bottom of the Canyon. This facility was founded for workers and visitors over 70 years ago. The hike, at least for us, was difficult, challenging and absolutely awesome. Beginning at the South Rim, we hiked down the Canyon's South Kabob Trail, a path approximately seven miles in length. The next day we walked up to where we started by following the Bright Angel Trail, a near ten-mile trek. Neither paths were straight, but instead were shaped in zigs and zags to better fit the terrain of the Canyon. Going down took us four and a half hours and going up a little over six.

I note one particular rule those who oversee and monitor the Grand Canyon have for hikers and tourists: people must not leave behind any trash. Trash that people do generate must not be left behind. I like this because it helps defend the purity of the Grand Canyon and holds responsible those who may treat it with disrespect. All of us need to be similarly militant in preserving one of the wonders of our own species: honesty. Truth is probably the ultimate tie that binds all of us. As the Grand Canyon represents the best of our planet, truth represents the best of all of us as communicators. The two are twin wonders. My trip to the Grand Canyon helped reinforce that notion.

Grand Adventure

In the world of communication, there is one key public that we should never ignore, overlook or bypass. It is ourselves. It is this public, above all others, to which we must be totally transparent and brutally honest. Anything less, particularly with this public, is unacceptable. Even if our goal with other publics is to persuade or influence, when it comes ourselves, it is paramount that we communicate information not how we might like it to be, but rather how it actually is. After all, as has already been said many times and in many different ways, if we can not or will not be honest with ourselves, then our actions and even our motives for connecting with others are forever false.

The trick, as it is with other publics, is determining how best to communicate with ourselves even on those occasions when we may not know the answers or have all the information we might like or need. Soon, I will be embarking on a grand adventure in an attempt to gain a better understanding of my own physical abilities and desire to stretch beyond my normal boundaries. My dearest relative and I will be attempting to hike down the Grand Canyon, spend the night at the bottom, and then hike back. Both of us are very excited about this challenge and what we anticipate will be the fun that will come with doing it together. At the same time, both of us have been training hard as we have a sense this quest of ours will not be easy. It will not be a "walk in the park" even though technically it will be just that.

Many years ago my daughter and I went to the Grand Canyon, but only to see it. We did not attempt to hike any of it either on foot or on mule. Thus, I have already experienced the vast and awesome majesty of this site. By hiking up and down it, this time around I will definitely be upping the anti. This adventure represents a dramatic way of communicating with myself in an attempt to gain a better sense of where I am in my life. Hopefully, the information I collect will enable me to communicate more effectively with others as a result of learning more about me. It is my intent to share my insights - good and bad - in future entries.

Bad Apples

One of the harsh realities of life is that sometimes things do not always go our way. Sometimes we are treated unfairly. Sometimes bad guys actually win. Sometimes what goes around does not come around. As we transition from youth to adulthood, I believe there is a part of all of us that knows these unpleasant truisms are just that: unpleasant and true. We don't like talking about it or even acknowledging it. We do not even like saying it out loud or sharing this awareness with our friends and loved ones. Yet it is a harsh reality - much like waste, selfishness and cruelty - that not only exists in the world, but not always is stopped, checked or reversed. Furthermore, there are even those who live their lives as not-very-nice people who do not-very-nice-things and do quite well, thank you very much.

I am not just talking international terrorists or world leaders who are corrupt or who make decisions that lead to the needless deaths of thousands of people. They are in a league all their own. Rather, there are what I call every-day people who are our neighbors, co-workers, or even relatives who simply live their lives on the wings of bad intentions, selfish behavior and lies. While more often than not, people around them come to recognize these jackals for what they are, despite this, sometimes the unsavory characters of life are able to do what they do any way and not suffer any meaningful consequences.

The kind of bad apples I am talking about are not good communicators simply because what is behind whatever it is they are saying or, in some cases, selling is false. Communication, at its best, is inclusionary. It involves making and maintaining viable and sincere connections with others. These individuals are not interested in that. They wish only to make life better for themselves and if it is at the expense of others, then so be it. Realistically, ways to deal with communicators of this ilk is to never give them any credibility; remain aware of what drives them; and remember how they may mistreat you or others is all about them - not you. These coping mechanisms may not always lessen the pain the bad apples inflict or counter they damage they create, but they do help drive home the value of honest and well-intentioned communication.